Awhile ago, I reviewed two books with very similar topics; wealthy families living in New York, marriage, the struggle to balance your life with kids, etc. Although I enjoyed those books, I’ve just discovered a much more nuanced, well-written version of those, and it has got me so excited I’m looking for excuses to bring it up at parties (yes, I’m one of those people). Fleishman is in Trouble by Taffy Brodesser-Akner is sharp, consistent and eye-opening. It has got the best kind of twist about three quarters of the way through, and it has gotten extremely positive reviews from almost every publication that’s written about it. Sometimes I’m reluctant to jump on a bandwagon of publicity, but I’m practically driving this one now!
We meet Toby Fleishman at a complicated time in his life; he’s finalizing his divorce from his ultra-successful wife Rachel, he’s gunning for a promotion at work (he’s a doctor, but only makes $300,000/year, which is not very much compared to his friends…yes, I know how ridiculous this sounds) and he’s just discovered numerous women in New York are desperate to have sex with him now that he’s newly single with a full head of hair. He knows this because he of the dating apps he’s just downloaded on his phone, which he is now addicted to. To make matters even more complicated, Rachel has disappeared after dropping the kids off and Toby can’t reach her. Although we are subject to Toby’s inner thoughts, the book is actually told through a third person: Libby, Toby’s old friend and suburban Mom who now lives in New Jersey and has stopped working to stay at home with the kids.
This book will defy your expectations; you will begin reading it and assume you know what it’s going to be about, assigning your own friends to characters in the book (we all know a Toby, we all know a Rachel, I may perhaps be a bit of a Libby). But as a bookish colleague pointed out to me, this novel is actually about empathy, and that won’t become clear until the very end.
I was truly horrified by some of the behaviours in the book, including but not limited to the amount of dirty messages Toby receives online-is this really what dating in the digital age is like? I saw Taffy speak in person, and she assured us it was, in fact, speaking to her recently divorced male friends is what gave her the inspiration to write the book in the first place. I cringed when I read these parts, all the while thankful this isn’t my own immediate reality.
Side note: I’m currently at that age where a few of my friends are just starting to get divorced so they are experiencing dating apps for the first time. I met my husband before apps was ever a thing, so I’ve been largely sheltered from this new world. From what I gather, it’s fun at first, but then quickly leads you down a dark hole where you begin to question everything around you.
Anyway selfishness comes across as a major theme in this story, whether or not we are being selfish, misunderstanding other people’s actions as selfishness, and how much of ourselves we should give to others. Gender roles are another major touchpoint; how far we’ve come, how far we have to go, how little we’ve actually changed in the grand scheme of things.
As you can tell there is just SO MUCH HERE. It’s the perfect book club book, which is why we’re discussing it on July 17 for the We’ve Read This book club. If you’re interested, let me know in the comments section whether you’d like a list of my book club discussion questions, I can pass along a copy to you following my event next week which is sure to be dynamite-so if you’re a Calgarian please join us!
I’ve got to tell you,Anne, that when I started this book, I really didn’t think it would be for me, and then, I just couldn’t stop reading. Brilliant portrayal of marriage, divorce and parenting. See you next week. Can hardly wait for the discussion with this one.
Fabulous! I’m so glad you made it through, I think our discussion is going to be awesome 🙂
Your furry model doesn’t seem even half so enthused! I love it when a book makes you want to snag readers for it anywhere and everywhere. Hope your bookgroup has some good discussions about this one.
Hank has his own ideas about being a book model LOL
“I was truly horrified by some of the behaviours in the book, including but not limited to the amount of dirty messages Toby receives online-is this really what dating in the digital age is like?”
Hahahahaha, you need to read my review of Nothing is Okay, which I published today. She gives some examples of things men have actually send her through a seemingly-benign website like OkCupid.com!
now that I’ve read your review-I know!!! So crazy. Makes me so thankful I’m married haha
What if he turns out to be a nut bar? HAhahahahahAh, I’m just kidding.
I’m with you. I am always shocked when I hear about the things people do and say on social media and dating apps.(I just posted about a book in which social media plays a big, scary part.) My husband and I were together in the age of dial-up internet!
Which is why books like this automatically appeal to me – I want to know!
I know, it’s like a window into this life that I will (hopefully) never have to experience myself
Ugh, it’s almost too much reading the disgusting things people send one another on apps in fiction – it’s so cringe-worthy I almost can’t take it. I experienced it in a book I recently finished, which was very good (Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams.) I want no part of that in real life ever. I’d rather be a hermit, I think.
Oh I’ve got Queenie on my bookshelf!!! I’m thinking this social media thing is a great theme for my next radio book segment.
Yeah, good angle. Queenie was awesome. I am planning to write a post about it soon – hopefully I can finally sit down and write something tomorrow night? I’ve been really busy lately.
Summer is crazy for everyone! I took a blogging break for two weeks while I went on vacation and it was soooo nice.
Well, you’ve convinced me I need to read this! And you can count me as another person who is thankful I met my husband before dating apps existed.
haha yes, we aren’t the only ones!!! Lots of people find this new world terrifying, with good reason!
Love your site! Was listening to this (listen to a lot of books while walking or riding my bike) and almost gave up during the early descriptions of Toby’s experiences with apps, but read the first paragraph of your review and gave it another chance. So glad I did — the last section about Rachel is so powerful, and I loved Libby’s manifesto at the end. Surprisingly thought-provoking read (and I too am glad I got married long before the advent of these apps…so soul destroying!
Thanks very much for your interest in my blog! Yes that first section with Toby was trying, but so glad I pushed through. And I never really thought about it was “libby’s manifesto” but you are SO RIGHT
Can you send me the book club questions for Fleishman Is In Trouble. I am leading the discussion for a Monday evening Oct. 4th book group. Your questions will be very helpful, so if possible, please email them to me ASAP! Many thanks. BTW, I did not like the book. Found it exhausting to read!
Hi Phyllis, i’m so sorry I missed this, I hope you had a good discussion! Books you didn’t enjoy tend to have the best discussions 🙂
We’ve just read this in our book club – i’d Love it if you could share your discussion points /questions! Tks
Hi Melodie, thanks for your interest in my blog. I can provide discussion points, but I request payment in return, as I do this for a living 🙂 Let me know if you guys have a budget for this and I will send over.
Loved your insights into the book. We are reading it for our book club. Could you please send me your questions.
Hi Miriam, Thanks for reading my review, and good luck with your discussion! I’m paid to write book club questions, so I’m happy to provide my questions for a $50 fee. If you’re interested in purchasing them, feel free to contact me via my blog and we can arrange payment.
Hi Anne! I enjoyed reading your review and feel the same – I keep looking for ways to bring it up in conversation for just about everyone I know! Brodesser-Akner covers a multitude of themes in the book and does it so brilliantly. I am hosting book club tomorrow night and hoping everyone enjoyed the book as much as I did! If you have a second, I’d love to see your questions! Thanks! Anne
Hi Anne, thanks for your comments. I do charge $50 for my questions (I have a specific document with additional questions than what I spoke about at my own book club meeting) so if you’re interested, send me an email through this site and we can arrange it.
I’d love a list of your book club questions. We are considering doing this for our book club. Manny thanks.
Hi Lynn, thanks for your interest in my blog. I charge for my book club questions as I create a separate document from my book club, plus, I’m paid do to this work. If you’re still interested please email me via my contact page and I can arrange to send it to you!
Recommended this book to both my book groups after I finished it this summer.
So on target! I told everyone I knew it was the best book I have read all year! Would not recommend to my adult children though 26-32, as I feel like let them enjoy this romantic time
without knowing what the future could hold in store. We all start out with such dreams and hopes. Then reality, but I love that Taffy shows that we are all flawed. We all come with our own strengths and weaknesses and histories that have helped create us. The grass isn’t always greener, and we all take part in our relationships success’ and/or demise.
So very true! I know what you mean about not wanting to ‘expose’ some of these darker sides to couples too young haha let them be naive for as long as possible 😉
Hi! Any chance I can get a copy of the book club questions for this book!
Hi Karen, thanks for your interest in my blog. I don’t give out these questions for free, as I create a special ‘book club question’ document. If you email me via my contact page I can let you know much i charge for the questions.
Please send me your discussion questions for Fleishman is in Trouble
Hi Ellie, I do these questions for a living so I charge a small fee for what I produce. Please email me via my contact page and I can let you know what i charge and what you’ll get in return.
Please send your book club discussion questions for “Fleishman is in Trouble.”
Hi Betti, I create book club questions for a living, and I have a set amount of questions, including many we didn’t actually discuss at this particular meeting in a document. I charge people for a copy of this, so if you are still interested, please send me a note through my contact page and i can give you details
Just finished this for a book club. Would love your discussion points. Thanks!
Hi there! I do this for a living, and create special discussion points for dissemination around each book, so I do charge for this service. If you are still interested, please email me through my contact page and I’ll let you know how it works
May I have your book club questions for Fleischman is in trouble. Thank you
Hi Bernice, Thanks for your interest in my blog. I create a special document of book club questions for this book, and because I do this for a living, I sell it for a small fee. If you are still interested, feel free to email me through my contact page and I can give you the details.
I would love to see your questions. Could you send them to me?
wendyjb11@gmail.com
Hi Wendy, I sell these questions for a fee as I’ve created a special document. If you are still interested please email me through my contact page and i can give you details.
Please send me your book club questions for Fleishman is in Trouble.
HI Jennifer, Thanks for your interest! Because I do this for a living, I charge a small fee for these questions, which I’ve added to and fleshed out since our group discussion. If you are interested in purchasing them, please email me: anne@ivereadthis.com
Could you possibly send me your book club questions asap. I’m hosting tonight and can’t find ANY on-line. Thank you!
Hi Melissa,
If you’re still interested in the questions, I charge $50 for them-there are 35 in total. Email me directly through my website if you’d like to purchase!
Would love a copy of any book group questions. We are in hard lockdown in Melbourne Australia due to Coronavirus for 8 weeks and my book group is still meeting via Zoom each month – it keeps us sane! Please send any book group questions you have. Much appreciated. Sandra
Hi Sandra,
If you are still interested, I charge for these questions, $50. Send me an email at anne@ivereadthis.com and I can send you a copy.
I’d love your list of discussion questions if its still available. I’m reading this title with my book club.
Hi Joanne, I charge $50 for these questions, and there are 35 in total. If you are still interested, please email me through this website.
If you’re still sharing your book club discussion questions, I’d love a copy. Thanks!
Hi Gail, I charge for these questions. If you’d like to purchase them, please send me an email at: anne@ivereadthis.com
Please send me your discussion questions! Thanks!
Hi Stephanie, I charge for these questions, so please email me at: anne@ivereadthis.com if you are still interested and I can tell you the cost.