Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World by Mark Waddell

With a title like Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World, how can you possibly say no to this satirical work by Mark Waddell? For anyone who is fortunate (or unfortunate enough, depending on your point of view) to have worked in a 9-5 office environment, you will find much to laugh along with in this entertaining work of supernatural fiction. And because spooky reading season is officially upon us, this is a nice way to ease into a chilling book with a lighter touch; when things start getting a little too scary there’s lots of humour to break up the occasional bouts of terror.

Plot Summary

Colin is young man who works a mundane job in the HR department of the New York branch of Dark Enterprises, a Hell-like multinational corporation that performs favours for the rich and powerful. After refusing the sexual advances of a manager, his work is continually sabotaged by this same man, so Colin learns he is in danger of being terminated at the company. Unfortunately, when one is terminated at Dark Enterprises, this means they are literally killed. Desperate to keep his life and job, he comes across a demon in the elevator one day who offers him anything he wants in exchange for a small bit of blood. Colin agrees to this deal and in doing so, he wishes for a position of power in the company, but unwittingly unleashes this humanity-threatening spirit at the same time. He is promoted to the position of executive assistant for the CEO, a terrifying woman who slays people in the boardroom (literally) while demanding her Starbucks order at the same time. She recognizes Colin’s desire for revenge on those who have wronged him, and is eager to nurture his vengeance, teaching him handy little curses he can use to enact this. But Colin is terrified of her learning the truth about the demon that is causing more and more havoc on the city, causing thousands to disappear into thin air – not only would he lose his job if she found out it was fault, but he would also be terminated immediately. He stumbles upon a librarian, Lex, who works in their company’s occult library, who reluctantly helps Colin research ways to stop this demon from killing everyone on earth, but will they find the answer in time? Not without a few hiccups along the way!

My Thoughts

Although this book is primarily meant as a means of entertainment for those of us who slave away at a desk or who simply enjoy demon-hunting tales, the characterization of Colin is a thoughtful one that left an impression on me well after I finished reading it. It would have been easy to paint him as a bumbling do-gooder that gets caught up in the quest for more respect, but instead, he’s depicted as having an extremely dark side that enjoys seeing people suffer. Despite this disturbing trait, we can’t help but root for him, and his disdain for bullies is one that I’m sure many people can relate to, no matter where they work.

The writing is so filled with sarcasm that it’s easy to forget the death that permeates every page of the plot. The ‘it’s all in a day’s work‘ attitude spills over into the rest of the population as New York City descends into chaos as looters take over the city:

“…I made a beeline for the Whole Foods off the Circle and found it trashed, its ravaged aisles haunted by the thirty-something white people in skinny jeans and flannel shirts searching for vegan and/or gluten-free options. Fending off a hungry-looking man with a bad ponytail, I grabbed an unopened box of Kashi cereal and then struck gold when I discovered a bottle of sparkling applies cider that had rolled to the back of a bottom shelf.” (p. 233 of Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World by Mark Waddell, ARC edition)

The reason Colin is in search of food is because he’s actually headed on a date in Central Park with a mysterious new man he has fallen in love with, and like many rom-coms, a simple miscommunication and lying by omission has created the major conflict in their burgeoning relationship.

So you can see the dichotomy of looming death vs. regular relationship mishaps as a technique of lightening the mood in this novel, which it absolutely succeeds at. Waddell is still able to spook us with some really creepy depictions of demons, but he juxtaposes this with a hilarious scene involving an angel intern that I’m not likely soon to forget. With all this in mind, I recommend this as a comfortable story to slowly dip your toes into some October reading.