Similar Posts

17 Comments

  1. Aw, Anne, I don’t think it’s fair to say that a book about violence from and toward children probably wouldn’t bother people who don’t have children. Choosing to be childless isn’t a declaration that we hate kids or think poorly of them; we just don’t want them with us permanently (for a variety of (sometimes difficult) reasons).

    1. Yes you’re right Melanie, and I didn’t really mean that it wouldn’t bother people, because it would bother anyone! It’s just extra painful as a parent I think, because it’s such a unique relationship to have to another person. I should have reworded that, because this book would be difficult for anyone to read whether they have a child or not

    2. Thank you, Anne. That means a lot to me! I’m always on a crusade for childless people like me, trying to prove that we care about and love children and want a relationship with them, even though we are not parents. Over the years, I’ve lost friends because they had kids and assumed I wouldn’t want to come around anymore. It stings, and also feels…I’m not sure. Exclusive? Like non-parents will never “get it”? But I’ve been a caregiver and I have several children in my life whom I love deeply. It won’t be the same, but I get it. You are lucky in one way: you can call say your kids are assholes without getting in trouble, but people like me can only think it 😂😂😂

    3. You were right to call me out Melanie, I need to pay more attention to that. And I’ve witnessed it too, parents saying other adults just don’t ‘get it’, which I find offensive. Not having children doesn’t make you any less empathetic or in tuned in to what children need. Luckily my non-parent friends and I have stayed closed even after having kids, so I’ve still got a foot in both worlds ;) Also btw I think non-parents are allowed to call kids assholes, it’s usually warranted! LOL

  2. Sounds interesting! As you know, I worked for some years with boys with behavioural difficulties and in most cases those “monsters” were very definitely made rather than simply born. And while some of them were separated from their natural parents and adopted or fostered, it was often too late to fix them, even with all the professional help that we could give and get for them. It’s one of the reasons I’m against adopting from abroad – over here, prospective adoptive parents or foster parents are extremely checked and trained, and there’s a period of getting to know the child before the placement becomes permanent. And even after all that, the placement is monitored closely for a long time to be sure the parents are coping and the kids are getting any external support they need. And yet it can still go disastrously wrong. But adoptions from abroad are much laxer, and it leaves the child at much greater risk and the parents with much less support.

    1. To clarify, I’m against adopting from abroad unless the adoptions are treated and monitored as rigorously as domestic adoptions, which they’re currently not.

    2. Hmm that’s really interesting FF, I didn’t know that about you (or maybe I had learned it awhile ago and forgot). One point the author stated she was trying to make was that some kids turning out ‘bad’ isn’t always the parents fault, but I almost got the opposite out of it-I kept shaking my head at things the parents were doing!

    1. Oh wow, this sounds distressing! Such interesting questions, though… I’m actually tempted to read it. I find questions about nature vs. nurture fascinating.

    2. It is distressing, but incredibly thought-provoking too. My review of the Push coming out in a few weeks deals with a similar subject

Comments are closed.